Roadblocks

Wouldn't it be nice if life were a well paved road on which you could enjoy a nice smooth ride?

Why must the road be littered with potholes, detours, and roadblocks?

Are these all self-inflicted events? Or is there something out there trying to "get" us to make mistakes?

I can clearly see the direction in which I would like to travel. I can clearly see my destination. But the road between here and there is fraught with peril. Some is my own doing (like lack of proper maintenance), and some I did not anticipate (like a washed out bridge). Where will I get the strength to continue toward my destination despite the setbacks? Where will I get the funds for car repairs? How do I get the people riding with me to stay in the car and trust that I know what I am doing, and where I am going?

Now onto the more concrete thoughts...

My son has been testing me lately. He is talking more, which is a wonderful thing, but his increased vocabulary has been used thus far to express his displeasure with all things that don't feed his immediate desires.

He "doesn't like that"!

I am going to need to plan more time in each activity, each day, each event to plan for the seemingly inevitable meltdown that occurs when he doesn't get his way.

I need to remember to say a little prayer, take a deep breath and understand that I can't control his reactions, but I can control mine; and as his father, I need to be the one to set the example for him to follow.

Easier said than done.

Pray for me.

The Playset

Well, today is the first day of spring! And what better way to ring in the season than by putting up the playset in the backyard.

I had taken the set down last fall in anticipation of a move (which didn't happen)...and I left the set disassembled through the winter because no one was going to use it anyway.

So, yesterday afternoon I trapsed the kids off to Sears to buy some power tool accessories! Last fall I used all hand tools to take the playset apart...it took me two days!

This is no child's playset mind you...when my wife sets her mind to something it is quality...so this is a large wooden playset capable of handling adults swinging on it.

So, using a screw driver to pull out all of the screws and a ratchet to pull out the bolts was a tedious matter.

Today was a pleasure! I used my drill, with the adaptor bits to easily assemble the set. Of course I had some help from my wife and kids...parts of this set are just heavy, and as much as I like to be "the man", I have to admit my limitations.

So it is done...my daughters took the inaugural slide of the season, and so it has begun. Now they'll play outside more, run around more, and hopefully be happy and healthy as we head into summer.

The Birthday Party

So today, we attend a birthday party...and as luck would have it the party is at the local YMCA.

It is a gymnastics party, which means the kids get to run around for an hour before they eat cake. Great idea!

So my wife and I go with the three little kids and we have a BLAST!!! We're on the balance beam, the tumble track, the foam pit, the uneven bars...now mind you, we are not gymnasts, and we are both over 40...but you wouldn't have known it by our enthusiastic performance. I am not sure who had more fun...us or the kids...

We must definitely return to "open" gym time and play again. The kids had such a good time too, playing with us, chasing us around and "showing off" their skills at cartwheels and bridges.

We were the only parents in the foam pit though, and the only ones running around like banshees with the kids. When did we adults stop playing? Come to think of it, I don't remember my parents ever doing stuff like that with us.

Is something wrong with me? Or is it society that norms us into sitting on the sidelines watching the kids have a good time?

In fact, I am thinking that I know where our next date might be...

Forever Young

I called my family this morning (yes I am away again), and my wife told me about a "plot" my children were hatching. They're 7,5, & 3 mind you.

They are planning on "scaring" me when I come home tomorrow. They're going to wait up, hide, and scare me when I get there.

Where do they come up with this stuff?

I have been laughing to myself all day long! I can picture the three of them, hiding in the closet and jumping out at me...and I can't stop laughing when I picture that. Almost makes me want to be the "Catcher in the Rye", and keep them at this age forever.

I start feeling melancholy when I think of them getting older.

I also have a 20 y/o so I have some comparison with which to relate.

It's like I can see what is coming for them and it makes me sad. Not that I am not proud of my oldest, but watching the struggles that go along with adulthood, and wondering if I've prepared them properly and praying they choose the right path...

Can't they stay young and innocent forever?

Close encounter with the homeless

Today was a day of days!

If anyone reads this post, know that it is not a boast as I do not seek to build up treasure for myself here on earth...what happened today was truly the work of Christ.

I am also writing this blog because I find it easier to write than to talk sometimes (I am introverted), and I need to get this down on paper. This is really me having a conversation with myself, rather than telling a friend about what happened.

I had to take a business trip this morning, and so I was awake at 0315 to take a 0600 flight. I flew into Dulles to catch a 0730 flight. Well, that didn't happen. The flight was delayed for 30 minutes, then another 30, then 45 more, etc...until we ended up with an extra 4 hours on the ground.

But I wasn't in the least bit upset. I had prayed the Rosary on the way to the airport, and then prayed the "Morning Hours" while on the flight.

I was calm. My day was going well so far since it was centered on God.

And, truth be told I was feeling a little bit smug since I had managed to pray early...so I gave the day up to God. Haha, I thought...what a good Christian am I!

I used the 4 hours on the ground to read all of "Be a Man", by Fr. Larry Richards. I recommend it to all the men in your life. It was motivating, challenging and thought provoking...all with the aim of making you a better Christian Man. What could be better than that? Besides, Fr. Larry challenged us in the book to give our days over to God...not our will but "thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." Besides, praying everyday has really brought me peace...imagine what more I'll be getting now that I am "giving the day up to God"! {Whoo...I can hardly wait!}

I got to my business location with plenty of daylight to "recon" the area.

As I was pulling in to my morning meeting location, I noticed a homeless person on the corner in front of a Ruby Tuesday's. It was a busy intersection, and seemed odd since there weren't any other homeless folks to be seen nearby. It has been my experience (namely El Paso and Washington DC), that you often see each street corner with someone else begging on it. Little did I know what God had in store for me since I had finally (in 40 years) asked him what he wanted from me...what was "His" will today?

Now, I have a weakness (well one of many). I am very judgmental. I often blame a person who is homeless for making poor choices in life and thus getting what they deserve.

But looking at this old guy bothered me. I drove around a bit more, but kept coming back to the thought of this old guy on the corner and how I REALLY ought to act if I were a Christian. I like to say I am...I pray...but what have I done? Talk is cheap, afterall.

What would Christ have done? What would he want me to do? I thought about the Song of St. Francis "Make me a channel of your peace".

I eventually pulled into the Ruby Tuesday's parking lot and paused for a moment. I know I needed to talk to this guy...but I was afraid. What would I say? I am an introvert by nature. I have a hard enough time talking to people I know! Besides, what would people think if they saw me chatting with a "bum" on the corner? Then again who cares? What would Christ think if I ignored him?

But I felt the Lord calling me, so I turned off the car, said a prayer, got out and walked over to him.

Only, it wasn't a man. It was a woman who looked to be in her 60s as I got closer. My heart was racing...I had no idea what I would say...

So, I said "hello". I asked if there was something I could get for her...was she hungry? Thirst?

She said no, someone had just given her something go eat.

I have never been willing to give people money...didn't want them to waste it...but I had to overcome that prejudice...Jesus was asking me to (yes, there is a danger in giving your day up to the Lord...if you really tell him you want to follow him...he'll ask you to :)

I asked her what she needed, and she said she was homeless...that the shelters don't let you stay very long until you need to leave for a few days.

I told her I couldn't give her a home, but I handed her $10 and told her that was for her next meal...and that I wished I could do more. She started to cry and thanked me. I started to cry too, said good-bye and walked away.

I drove off to look for a church...I needed some time to pray. $10 didn't seem like "crap" to give a woman who had nothing. What kind of coward was I?

I had my wife's GPS with me...so I tried to find a Catholic Church to spend some time with the Blessed Sacrament and ask for some more guidance since I felt like I had failed miserable in my first attempt. This was the first time in my life I have ever spoken with someone who was homeless...I know...pretty pathetic for someone pretending to follow Christ.

Well...the trusty GPS took me to a strip mall, but no church. Across the street, however, were a couple of motels...Budget and a Super 8. I could feel the Holy Spirit moving me, so I drove back to where the woman was.

I knew my wife would think I was crazy, but I was going to pay for this woman's hotel room until she was able to get back to the shelter. I figured it was the least I could do, and we who are so blessed are obligated to feed the hungry, shelter the homeless, etc.

I pulled back into Ruby Tuesday's, shut off the car, said a prayer and walked back out to her.

Only this time, I asked the Holy Spirit to speak through me, since obviously I wasn't any good on my own.

I said, "hey! I'm back!"...I told her that I wanted to put her up in a hotel, if she'd be willing, until she could get back to the shelter. She asked if there were strings attached...I told her no...it was only by the grace of God that I wasn't without a home, and I that I just wanted her to have a place to rest for a couple of days.

She hesitated, and politely declined my offer.

I introduced myself and asked her what her name was..."Leigh", she said.

We chatted for a few minutes about her life, and then I asked her again if I could find her shelter, or get her anything else.

"No, nothing", she said.

I said goodbye again, and she said "God Bless You"..."most people never even stop to talk to me, or understand how hard this is. I never wanted to end up this way."

I left and knew I had to do something for her...even is she was too proud to accept much more than small handouts.

I drove to Walmart. I figured a gift card would be a good idea...then she could get whatever she needed.

I bought her an Easter card too. It took me a long time to find the right one. What sort of card to do give to someone who's homeless? Happy Easter! Hope the Bunny is Good to You??!? When did Easter Cards become so meaningless? Where have I been?

I finally found one that I thought said what she needed to hear (OK...truth be told the Holy Spirit chose it not me) and I wrote a note in there for her.

I bought 2x$50 gift cards and put them in the card.

I drove back to Ruby Tuesday's...but Leigh was gone.

I panicked...but then I saw her at the strip mall (behind the restaurant)...I drove up to her and said, "Leigh, I am not crazy, and I am not stalking you...(although I am sure she was beginning to wonder)...but I have something for you. I know you didn't want to ask me for anything, but I can see that you are in need. So, please take this...it is not from me but from Jesus. He asked me to give it to you."

I couldn't believe I was saying that...but it felt like it wasn't me who was speaking...and it seemed like it was what she needed to hear...she started to cry again (as did I)...she told me to take care of myself and that Jesus was keeping a place for me in heaven...I told her that he was keeping one for her as well.

Then she turned and walked away.

How many days have I wasted my life by being selfish? How many times have I not seen Jesus in those around me?

Lord forgive me for being so blind.

Lord help me to be a better man.

Where the Wild Things Are

I just finished watching the movie version of "Where the Wild Things Are" with my kids.

I was left feeling a little empty.

I was expecting more of the book in the movie. At least the company and the popcorn were good!

But that is how it goes doesn't it? When we have an expectation that isn't lived up to in reality.

So, it's gotten me thinking...were are the "Wild Things" in my life? What are those things I don't want to let go of, but really aren't good for me? What bad habits do I hang on to because I just don't want to change?

Is there anything you'd like to change that you've been putting off, or know that you should but just can't seem to?

For me, the issue generally revolves around food...I love to eat, and most of the time eat way too much. I have to learn to be disciplined. There is a reason that gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins! I ought to post the list of the seven on my bathroom mirror! That might help me set a better example by knowing what to avoid during the day...LOL!

What is the worst deadly sin?

Fantasy Football

Tonight after Supper the kids and I played some football in the living room. It was a hoot! Now that is my idea of fun.

Now, you must understand that that the football we play is a very "modified" version of the event. I run around on my knees while the kids all "tackle" me. The living room is only a 10x12 room...not exactly a huge maneuver area :)

It is a wonderful way to rough-house with the kids and burn off some energy. There is definitely something wonderful about interacting with the kids that way...warms my heart just thinking about it.

Dad's need to be "physical" with their kids...they need that. This is one of the things that Dads are good at, and one of the reasons why they are needed in their kids lives.

Years ago, Dads used to teach their sons a skill. Their boys would learn the family trade (whatever that was). Dads spent time with their sons teaching them, and showing them how to be a man.

That is missing today...we delegate our Fatherly duties to the school system and to a culture which seeks to denigrate the role of males and seeks to create an androgynous society.

And we wonder why we have problems.

Dads...we need to start acting like men again...being the Father figure our kids need and being the sort of husbands our wives deserve.

Only then will we start to correct some of the social ills we're plagued by.